“Don’t get so caught up in your emotions that you forget about the person it happened to. When you put your own rage before their healing, a survivor can end up trying to manage your emotional welfare instead of focusing on their own.”
As many men and boys who are survivors of sexual abuse do, Brian faced a specific set of challenges, including self-blame, difficulty in relationships, and concerns about sexual orientation. “I felt ashamed for years because not all of what I experienced was painful. When you’re exposed to such sexual activity in your formative years, it complicates so many things.”
Brian has found writing about his story to be helpful in his healing process and recently published his memoir, Ant in an Eggshell: The Fragile Fortitude of a Black Man, in which he touches on the themes of sexual abuse, self esteem, and relationships. “Black men have the stigma attached to us to be strong, unmoving, unfeeling.”
When Brian isn’t writing, he works as a substitute teacher and finds joy in immersing himself in art. He is a singer and focuses on soul music as well as other genres. “Expressing myself artistically is what I love to do. I sing, I write, I act. It’s very cathartic for me.”
"If anything comes from this, I want young Black men—who are not paid attention to—or any survivor, to know that they are not alone.”